Ah yes, the age old question. One can't help but wonder sometimes if every single (numbers, not marital status) woman out there is just a tad bit psychotic. Seriously.
So yesterday, Kim calls me because she wanted to get a chance to talk to me before i went to work... this would normally be all well and good if it weren't for the fact that it was 7 o'clock in the morning, and i didn't even have to be at work till 3 in the afternoon. I related this to her in the nicest way i could - it's not that i didn't want to talk to her for some random reason, i didn't want to TALK - PERIOD... it could have been the fucking pope and i would have told him to call back later! Anyways, i didn't even say anything about wanting to go back to sleep, she just asked if i wanted her to let me go back to sleep, and so i replied "Yeah." And that was pretty much when i heard a click on the other end of the line.
OK. Is there a problem with wanting to sleep? At 7AM? When you're not working till 3PM?
So i call her cell phone, but noone picks up. I remembered her saying something about going to do a bunch of stuff, and so i just left a message asking her to call me back. EITHER WAY, i had asked her the first time around (at 7am) to call me back later when she was done with her stuff - as long as it was before i left for work, i'd be home.
So i come home last night and (btw Elise was waiting for me cause we were supposed to go minigolfing with APO) hit the 'play' button on the answering machine. One of the messages is a very-upset-Kim, relating to me that she tried me at work, on my cell, and at home.
First off - i haven't used my cell phone for a month because of my difference in opinion as to the size of my last bill. Second, i was at a different store last night - had she simply asked whoever it was if they knew whether i was working at a different store, they probably would have found out for her by asking the manager. OR, knowing that i said i would be at work, and thence finding out that i was not at my store, she may have tried to remember where it was that i said that i had worked, and asked my store for the phone number. Third, I was at work, therefore not at home.
After she has told me all this trouble that she went through she says something along the lines of "I give up."
O - K. that would have been all well and good - but you didn't hear the way she said it. Even poor Elise (who had entered the door only to be subjected to hearing this message) couldn't understand why kim was so upset.
So then, this morning, at 645AM kim calls again to say hi. I asked her if i could call her back later, as i was only going to be working from 11 to 3, and she says that she'll be hanging out with emily. I have no problem with her hanging out with emily, much to the contrary i like hearing that they're hanging out, cause they're best friends! they should hang out as much as possible while she's there! The problem i have is with the idea that i'm going to be blamed in some way for not making myself more available. ... Here's just a tip to all you people out there - if you call me before 7, hell 8 in the morning, all you're gonna get is grunts and one word answers. The good new that i got out of this morning is that kim won't have to do anything special to get on the airplane, cause that was a worry for a little while since she used our savings, and i'm the only one with a card to that - which we thought she might need to board the plane. ... long story short (too late!) she doesn't and it's all good.
I'm a little torn on the issue of her coming back, though. I really look forward to the girl i love coming home, y'know? Thing is i really don't want the girl that i argue with ever five minutes to come back at all. I just wish that we could trade some of the good to cancel out some of the bad ... i just wish it wasn't always so extreme! It's either that we're really happy, or reallly upset! Argh. I wish all this could be fixed, but i don't think it will be. I think it's just gonna get worse. Not because we won't try, but because there's only so much time that can go by, with so many arguments, before you start to just lose faith - i've already noticed a severe lacking in that department the last month or two, almost like we could just call it quits, and if i started regretting it, it would only be after a few months, when you start forgetting the bad things and miss the good.
I'm actually really upset about this - i don't understand what the hell we're doing together anymore. It would be fine if it weren't for all the arguing!! I'm about as laid back as you can get without being a pothead or something, yknow? Disagreements don't bother me, but it's the way that she responds - the way that she talks about things that we disagree about. It's almost like every thing that we disagree about is some catastrophic sign of how we'll "never get along, never agree". Personally, i don't think it's all about agreeing, but i like to discuss differences in opinion! I don't just say "Well, we're different, let's leave it at that."
Well, this will all have to wait for another day, as work is drawing nigh.
Thank you for listening to this rant - I know it'll all work out in the end, but doesn't mean i want to sit idly by, waiting for changes in my life to effect themselves... yknow? I just want to know that this is the way it should be - or that it's not and how to fix it.
Ah well... off to work i go.
PS: I would say "catch ya on the flip side, baby" but i'm not going to sleep, and i have no desire to type it.
PPS: ... again. Type it again.