Monday, August 18, 2003

Questioning Queries from Quarrelous Quills

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE WHO COME INTO RADIOSHACK??

Seriously! And i quote: "Can i have a Clie SJ20?" "Sure, did you have any questions, or did you just want to buy one?" "No, if you've got one, i'll buy it." "OK, hold on a second while i get it." - 2 minutes later - "So what kind of warranty do you have on this?" "Well, just sony's warranty... but if you ever have a problem with it, we'd probably just handle it here at the store for ya, no problem." "Well, so do you offer an extended warranty?" "No, but if you want we'll just handle it here - we like to keep our customers happy." "Well, i want an extended warranty." "Well, i just don't have one available... but like i said we'll take care of you here ..." "OK, well..." " ... would you like me to ring you up?" "No, that's OK, never mind."

...

FUCK YOU YOU STUPID ASS MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF DOG SHIT LICKING CUNT BAG CRACKWHORE MOTHER FUCKER!!!

...

"OK, well let me know if i can help you with anything else! :- )"

Jerkoff.

I apologize in retrospect to anyone reading this blog who is offended by profanity... hopefully you got the gist of the offending sentence well into the first word and skipped the rest entirely.

Seriously, why would you do that to someone? You tell them that you're going to buy something, demand an extended warranty that doesn't exist, and then, after wasting a half hour of their time, tell them you're no longer interested!

Let me give all of you people out there who have ever or will ever go to a store a little friendly advice: If you really care about karma, heaven, or just being a nice person for whatever reason - remember that salespeople are people too. Follow these guidelines (rules, jerky) and you'll be fine:

1) Remember that we are here to HELP you, not to SERVE you.
2) By entering into our store, you commit to an unspoken agreement that states the following:
a. you may be spoken to by another human being - one that works here.
b. you may be offered a gazillion random things that you may or may not want.
c. you may be asked to provide identification, and it's not necessarily because we're stalking you.
3) We don't have to be nice - we're not paid enough to be nice for the money - we do it to earn your respect and trust.
4) You don't owe us your trust, but you DO owe it to us to be nice back.
5) If I want a tease, I'll go to a strip show - be honest, be straightforward, and don't lead us on.
6) Say thank you back. No matter who you are, you owe us, if only for giving you your change back.

Following these guidelines should be easy, painless, and maybe even fun. Remember to think about how long that person has been standing around, helping people like you, and put yourself in their shoes. Doing all these things will make a HUGE difference in how you feel about shopping, how the people working at those stores feel about you, and most importantly, how they feel about THEMSELVES.

So anyways - Salutations to the Salespeople.

The aquarium is doing well, for anyone that wanted to know... even though it skirted with disatster last night when i realized that i had just uprooted every single living plant i have in there (3 species) completely and unmercilessly, it is now back to 'clear water' and looking more balanced and natural (as a tank with a miniature orange castle can get) as ever ... even better! I spread the plants out a little more, so that the entire tank is a little more spread out. Before it was like looking at "The Transfiguration of Narcissus" (title?) by Dali - where on one side of the pool is completely different from the other - I had the plants on one side, and the castle on the other. It was like going on safari in disney world, "OK folks, on your left we have the animal kingdom and ... oh yes! there's a lion eating an ugly bald man! And on this side we have the Magic Kingdom, and HOLY MOLY A GIANT FISH JUST SWAM THROUGH CINDERELLA'S CASTLE!!"

Oh, and added cool thing: I put the bubble wand in under the gravel, so the bubbles look a little less - well... i was gonna say fake, but it's a stream of bubbles issuing from a gravel bed in a tank.... hmmmm. Anyways, the COOL part is that the air is actually getting trapped under the bubbles at random intervals and travelling towards the front of the tank... thus issuing not from the expected place, but one several inches closer to the observer!! It's so COOL! It's like blowing down on the top of a pitcher of guiness just hard enough that the air goes under the foam, and comes back up on the other side!!!

OK, i'll admit i may be easily amused.

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|-=MAY=-|
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I think i should go pretty soon. Kim has her test tomorrow (THE test... the NCLEX test... wish her luck!) and i want to make sure that i'm a good supportive boyfriend.

(that and i just told her about this Blog thing, so she might read this... Brownie Points! ... wait... i have a feeling i shouldn't have said that... hmmm... ah well, it'll come to me)

I'm really happy with the aquarium btw. jsyk. itirfc. btw,tiabacij.

Jibberish? Maybe, i know ONE person that knows.... MWAH HAH HAH HAH AHHAH!!! (damn, i can never get further than the third HAH without a typo)

So just so you all know, i DO believe there are nice people out there who shop at RadioShack... i deal with a lot of them every day - it just seems like the ASSHOLES are the ones that make the most lasting impression... yknow?

So hey, did i tell you all that i really want to get into radio? i already have a few stations picked out that i might try to get an internship or something at.... i'll let you know how this all turns out! One of the people i work with actually told me that i would probably be good at that kind of thing... what do you think? DJ MACY.... heh heh. "Listen to Christian in the mornings... it's not just for sundays anymore!"

I can bet mom would LOOOOOOOOOOOVE that ;-)

Anyways, another bit of good news before i go - Ford found my title that the Illinois DMV (DuMassVoovooheads) sent to THEM instead of ME, and they are sending it next day - I should get it tomorrow! This means that - well, to make a long story short (TOO LATE) it means that my life is a LOT easier and happier now. YAY.

OK guys, i'm off to make sure Kim doesn't need any peptalking for her big day tomorrow, so good night, sleep tight, and yes, i want you to use your foot.

.Christian

PS: to all those that have been reading these silly blog things - Thank you... as any of you who know me will undoubtedly agree - it makes me happy to know that people are listening to me... even if i'm saying nothing at all.
PPS: ooh - i like that.... "even if i'm saying nothing at all..." That should be my new title for the Blog!!
PPPS: i'm changing it now - so all of you reading this will already know what my title is - this PS column was pointless.

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