Monday, October 13, 2003

Just so you know

i wrote a pretty long blog last night talking about what was going on with my life, and the next thing i know it was deleted by some server error. Bastards.

You want an update?

Kim and I broke up.

How's that for an update?

I guess i was kinda expecting her to change her mind, or for us to talk it out, but i don't know that that would have been better... i just don't know what's the right road at this point. I guess the one thing i can say for sure is that we've tried being together and holding on, and both of us have mentioned splitting up several times - hell for a week or two i was seriously contemplating just doing it myself when we were both calm and not arguing. I guess she felt the same way.

"And it stinks when it's nobody's fault, cause there's noone to blame" John Mayer

I'm gonna go down to a radio station today. Think they'll like me? I don't know what i'm gonna do... just hand em my resume i guess. Say "Hey, i know i have no radio experience, but maybe i could just pour coffee?"

Maybe i could go the other route and be Frasier. Ha.

My aquarium looks nice - i have three new live plants in there.

I think if it weren't for the fact taht we both knew this was coming it would be a lot worse... but it's pretty bad as it is. Christ, and i thought the break up with Jen was bad... this could almost rival Wendy, but i don't know that any break up is ever as hard as a first love - though this is close. It's really bad because i'm still so in love with the girl that i was dating when we first started out. I think that kim's right. We've both grown and changed a lot since we started dating - and though she didn't out and out say it, i agree with her that the people we've become don't mesh anymore.

I think i've kinda become a mishmash of who i've been and who i wanna be - i don't know how long it'll take to sort through the quagmire of my personality, but hopefully it'll come out all right in the end.



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