Monday, August 16, 2004

The Bees Sneeze

I was checking out the infamous Penny Arcade tonight when i found a link that struck me for some reason. I can't explain why i thought it should be linked here, but hey, there it is, right up in your upper right corner. ... wow.

Finance test today. That sucked. It wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be - i'm even convinced that i probably pulled away with a solid B, but i'm always convinced of that ;-) Tomorrow is bound to be fun, though - accounting my friends, accounting. I don't know why human beings create such new and innovative ways to torture themselves and each other, but the gods of masochism must be smiling down upon Dr. Invented A. C. Counting right now. ::sigh::

Had one of those "what does the future hold" conversations tonight. Like that's what i'm thinking about right now - i've had all i want with Futures thank you. (and forwards, and options, and swaps) I really just want to see where life goes right now, yknow? It's too hard to predict anyways... anytime that you think you're standing under a lemon tree, next thing ya know you have to figure out how to sell "limenade". ... that might be good actually ... and i wonder what would have happened if i had been standing under a lime tree...... ... ... ... ok, that's enough thinking about that one. Seriously though, there's so much out there, and a whole world to explore and experience. I don't want to see everything or go everywhere, but it would be nice to feel like i could let life take me there if it wanted to. Ah, who am i kidding, that's always who i've been ... wherever i go, there i'll be... that kinda silliness.

I was actually thinking about that kind of thing as i was running along the other day (btw, almost back up to 5 miles a day) and i realized that there is not one single thing that i would ever change about where i am or how i got here. The only thing i even considered was if i could convince dad to stop drinking ... but if he had and things had been different i might never be here now, which is where i think i'm supposed to be.

You might recall that just a little while ago i posted something which seemed to contradict that. Something about not feeling like i was where i'm supposed to be? Well guess what? It wasn't contradictory at all! Think about it, if i was where i "was" supposed to be, then i wouldn't realize that i was supposed to be there, thereby causing an almost inescapable paradox wherein i would ultimately end up right where i am, thinking i should be somewhere else. It's actually a little bit like economic theory about progression through monetary systems. You might recall (or not, that's ok, i learned this less than 3 months ago) that the idea of socialism was that it was the ultimate result of the progress of an organized economic system through a series of reforms and stages, including capitalism. I liken the afore-mentioned paradoxical results to the doomed system of the USSR which was ultimately a victim of shortsighted longsightedness. They saw the future, but in trying to attain it, failed in a manner... however, it can be seen that there is likely to be a resurgence of this manner of thinking in the future, and that the nation which once failed in the process may be the leader in its resurgence. ... Basically, you learn from your mistakes.

I guess you can think of it in old MacBethian terms: if the witches had never said anything, would their prophecy still have come true? Is self-fulfilling prophecy a reality? If the prophet had told Neo that he was the One, would he have defeated Agent Smith? ... ok, i guess for that one we can at least still ask the authors on their opinions of the matter. ;-)

We are where we should be, to be anywhere else would be blasphemy.

Against whom, you ask? To each his own, i say. The only thing that i know for sure is that i've officially been typing for over 10 minutes after 1 am on the night before my Accounting final, and Dr. Counting would be very displeased. I guess y'all 'll just have to wait to hear the rest of the crap that's been running through my head ... if i remember, that is. After all, tomorrow IS another day, and you never know just what will come your way.


PS: Fuck the bedbugs, kick those damn mosquitos, kick em with your friggin' foot.
PPS: Then catch me on the flipside, baby.

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