Saturday, January 24, 2004

Blog on Request

Request Date: 1/15
Response Date: 1/24

Efficiency Margin: 9 Days
Procedural Effectiveness: POOR

So yeah - i've been a little swamped. We just finished what's called "Foundation's Week" for Thunderbird - and it was all work and all play. (yes it's possible)

By the time that i got done with one thing it was time for another. We had meetings on everything from Statistical Review to Financial Aid. We drank everything in the Pub. Life is good.

The only problem that i have with all this happy horse junk is that i haven't really had time for all of my friends, and i know that's bogus... the only thing i can really hope is that all that will change this following week - but i don't know. See, after this first week (if it doesn't start now) the fun really begins with group projects, tests (yes tests) and lots of studying.

See each trimester is 3 and a half months long and broken into two parts. That means that each class is on average only 1 and a half months long. THAT means that i have a mid term in 3 weeks, and a final in 6.

Let's just say i have a busy life ahead of me here.

In terms of Kim and i, i think that she really understands that i need to have as much freedom and Simplicity as possible - which given our penchant for arguing and being upset is just not realistic in our current situation. While this doesn't mean that we're breaking up entirely, it does mean that we have a kind of understanding that the only relationships i can afford to have right now are friendships. I don't really have the time or the energy for anything too high-maintenance - and won't for a year or so.

I think that the biggest thing is that i have to feel free to choose whatever career path and/or destination that would be best, and when you're trying to figure out your life, ... well you need space. The way i kinda figure it is this: As long as i have that freedom, it's ok to be in a relationship. I just feel kinda bad because i really don't know if we're both getting what we need here.

I dunno, i guess we'll see. I just know that i don't need to make my life any more complicated right now - i have enough to worry about and enough decisions to make in the next year to really keep me busy.

For those of you who know me, this may be a shock. But believe it. I'm working. Hard. And a lot.

::shudder:: I miss Gorman's and Kenny's Pool.

It's wierd - i've never considered oberon a burden, but between him and lilly, it's really hard to live a half hour away from campus. We're thinkin about moving closer - i don't really want kim to do that though - or maybe i do, i dunno... right now i'm getting a tongue bath from lilly, so it's really hard to type anything. Anyways. I was thinking about buying a house close to campus, and then i could always keep it or sell it after class is all done. Think that i was thinking about was just staying and maybe working for Honeywell (right across the street) but this would again be limiting me. I think if i'm willing to sacrifice everything else, maybe rent money should be included in the list.

God this is tough. It's exactly the opposite of the non-changing, definite life that i had been growing to want. Ah well - just a little while longer - then i can think about settling down or something.

You know what's sad? This is just all the stuff that i can actually write about without worrying too much about people's reactions. I wish i had an offline journal too - but i'm pretty bad about even keeping this one updated - and i LIKE keeping this one updated!

OK well, i have to go - it was good seeing you all again for a second. ::sigh::

Back to the grind!


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