Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Value Chasm

So i was browsing through my notebook yesterday and ran across an idea i'd written down a while ago. It's in kind of a shorthand, so forgive the grammar! :-D (btw, comments are in italics, the rest is from my original writing)


Things I Value vs. Things I Value Doing i think i was going to make a list of things ...

We feel upset about aspects of our lives that we either
a) Value more than we value the corresponding action
(ie: I value a clean house more than i value the corresponding chores)
b) Value less than we value the corresponding action
(ie: I value eating more than i value food)
c) Feel that we should value something that we don't (or action)
(ie: I should value work or planning my time more than i do)
d) Feel that we shouldn't value something we do (or action)
(ie: I shoudn't value video games as much as i do)

We spend a lot of time reconciling these differences and usually trying to convince others to value the same things that we do. To us, their lack of concern for the things we value can be maddening. To the offending party, it just is how it is. They're not being difficult or thick skulled, it's just something they don't care about.


Ok, i just wanted to type that up. The only thing that i might add is that the last paragraph about conflict between people ultimately comes from applying the four scenarios above to your relationship with others. You can just change the wording of the last two points a little to better reflect where expectations are coming from. In a large group, the group determines what's of value, so you might feel like you have to measure up by either valuing something more, or something less. In a smaller group, or a group where an individual has some power or influence, it is the individual that sets those "standards", and effectively shifts focus from self onto the group or other individual.

In other words, the last two points could just as easily read:

c) Feel that others should value something that they don't (or action)
(ie: He should value work or planning his time more than he does)
d) Feel that others shouldn't value something they do (or action)
(ie: They shoudn't value video games as much as they do)

No comments: